I cannot believe that we are already two weeks into Lent. This week has inched by, painfully slowly, and yet, it seems like I just started writing my Lenten entries.
The readings today were perhaps a bit dark but that suits my somewhat depressing day. I smiled as I read Jeremiah's words: "Must good be repaid with evil that they should dig a pit to take my life?". Would it be melodramatic to say that I thought of my students immediately when I read this quote? It's funny how disheartening it can be when a whole class of students feels off-track and their behavior deteriorates. On my self-centered days, I take it quite personally, and it is only with time that I can take a step back and say "maybe it was an off day for them; maybe they did not intend to be so disrespectful."
While of course my students are not conspiring to take my life, as in Jeremiah's story, I do think it can be very isolating to feel at times like the enemy when students act up together in class. I find solace in today's psalm:
"Save me, O Lord, in your kindness.
You will free me from the snare they set for me,
for you are my refuge.
Into your hands I commend my spirit;
you will redeem me, O LORD, O faithful God."
I often reflect that teaching must have some purpose that God knows of, and I do not, in shaping me. I think that a major benefit of this rough first year is increasingly asking God for help as I flounder and struggle. Please help the rest of the week to pass smoothly and quickly Lord. Continue to grant me Your strength and resilience.
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