Monday, April 1, 2013

A Little Catching Up to Do.

Holy Saturday 03.30.13

"Though the mountains leave their place
and the hills be shaken,
my love shall never leave you
nor my covenant of peace be shaken,
says the LORD, who has mercy on you."
- IS 54: 5-14

For I will take you away from among the nations,
gather you from all the foreign lands,
and bring you back to your own land.
- EZ 36:16-17A, 18-28

“Why do you seek the living one among the dead?"
- LK 24: 1-12


Saturday is a day rich in scripture and therefore overwhelming in nature. I am struck by the story of Abraham going to kill his beloved son Isaac. Without fail, I am reminded of Kierkegaard's argument that we must make a daily, momentary leap of faith again and again and again; we must never be complacent in our faith because God demands our true faith.

I think of God's promises, made time and again, to love His people and stand by their sides--through it all.

I am awed by the concept of God taking me to my "own land," when sometimes it feels like I have been wandering around for years, seeking that very thing.

I am struck by own inability to recognize and act upon the knowledge that Christ really has risen once more. It sounds trite at this point when in reality it is earth-shattering news that should awe me every time I think of it.

Keep my faith challenged and invigorated, Lord, so that I might follow you more fervently and steadily.


Good Friday 03.29.13

Yet it was our infirmities that he bore,
our sufferings that he endured,
while we thought of him as stricken,
as one smitten by God and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our offenses,
crushed for our sins;
upon him was the chastisement that makes us whole,
by his stripes we were healed.
We had all gone astray like sheep,
each following his own way;
but the LORD laid upon him
the guilt of us all.
- IS 52:13- 53:12



"Strayed Sheep" by William Holman Hunt

Good Friday is quite a misnomer, the priest at my church reflected this morning. Long Friday is another, perhaps more apt name, used around the world. I struggle to adequately realize the relationship between myself and that man, years and years ago, on a cross, suffering unjustly and greatly.

Today my cousins were watching "The Bible" on the History Channel and I had to get up and move away when it showed Christ being flayed, just like I had to avert my gaze when I watched The Crucifixion years ago. I struggle to watch someone suffer and be tortured, but I particularly struggle to watch my God being torn apart by the prejudices and sins of humankind. All of us struggle to comprehend our own relationships to Christ's death, I think. Yet, many of us seem to understand His power when we are in times of need. I often call His name in desperation and forget my part in His death.

His death isn't quite real and I don't know that it ever will be for me. I try and try and try again to understand what He must have felt in that moment, in that interminable day of suffering, in that bottomless pit of people you love actually betraying and destroying you. Even as I struggle to understand my role in His death--as in, come to terms with my own culpability--I know that as Isaiah notes, He guides us back and bore our sins. I picture a mom dashing after a young son running away. I picture a father picking up a sleeping daughter with tear stains on her cheeks from a tantrum. I imagine people fighting and teenagers making mistakes and individuals lost and alone. I picture the darkness in me and acknowledge it, and know that He is there, guiding me back with no judgment, no retribution, no need for anything beyond an embrace and humility.

Open me up to Your rescue, Lord. Let me be receptive to Your glory, even as I am the cause of Your agony.



Holy Thursday 03.28.13

Something about this day has always touched me. It is difficult to understand how humbling it is to have another wash your feet until you actually have someone wash your feet. I always feel humbled and calm, at peace and open at Holy Thursday services. This year, sadly I did not go due to class. Still, this gospel and service made me think about and reflect on why the washing of feet is such a significant act.

How often we take feet for granted. They are one of the hardest-working parts of the body, it seems to me, and I know that all too often mine are dirty, tired, sore, and unnoticed. And I continue to ask myself, what is it that touches me so about this gospel? About this particular loving act of Christ?

I think it is the simplicity of the gesture, for in its simplicity is achieves a stunning level of basic love. God doesn't need grand gestures or something extraordinary to touch us; He uses the simple basis of humanity--who we are, what we are--to remind of us why we are--His beloved children. It is humbling, inherently, to have another touch one's dirty feet, to have another hold and caress and soothe something that is unappreciated and unnoticed. It is surprisingly powerful to have someone acknowledge that the smallest part of who we are is worth another's attention and care. The suggestion, of course, is that all that we are is worth attention, grace, and love.

Could it be true? God gives me hope that it is.

Wednesday 03.27.13

"The Lord GOD has given me
a well-trained tongue,
That I might know how to speak to the weary
a word that will rouse them." - IS 50:4-9

There honestly could not have been a better reading for Wednesday in terms of my day. Behavior issues piled up and it felt as though what I really needed was a way to speak that was bigger and better than myself. Often as a teacher I feel inadequate in terms of having the words to reach and comfort and teach my students. I feel that way now and I reckon that I will always feel that way. Please give me some of Your wisdom, Lord, and use me to help others through You.


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