It's interesting to think back to forty+ days ago, when I began reflecting as my Lenten devotion. It seems as though I just began and simultaneously as though Lent has gone on and on and on. Throughout the Lenten season, my days have been clarified and fortified and centered by the daily Georgetown Lenten reflections and by my own reflections. Obviously there are days where I forgot or felt too stressed to actually post, but nearly every day I read the daily scriptures and took a deep breath in, reveling in God's power to calm me.
I'm still in a very similar place to where I began when Lent commenced: stressed, questioning my success as a teacher, wondering what the future will bring, disappointed at times about my failure to be as consistent in my faith. I feel as though I am searching and searching for something; perhaps it is a sense of home, a sense of belonging, a passion for my work, an abiding love for the daily life I live. I'm not sure what I want, exactly, but as the school year begins to wind down (10 weeks now) and I begin to form summer plans, I "commend my spirit" unto You, Oh, Lord. I want you to guide me and keep me in Your arms and mold me into Your being.
The future still intimidates me, whether it be this spring break which will undoubtedly fly by; the last few weeks until state testing that will probably drag by; my last unit about Shakespeare; finals; summer itself; the daunting second year of teaching; and the scramble to figure out next steps following teaching. Be with me, Lord, every step of the way.
Infuse me with joy and peace as I try to rest and relax this upcoming week. Please help me to find more and more joy in my daily life, even amidst stress and chaos. Center me in Your loving way.
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