Today I finished my first term at Oxford University. I never imagined I would be writing that. I feel like my blogs have these repetitive themes of time evaporating at a painfully fast rate, everything in my life being super surreal, being blessed beyond anything I could have imagined. All of those same themes will come up today too.
I feel like just yesterday I was writing about how nervous I was to be on the brink of some unknown; I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to take a tutorial and live abroad; I was freaking out during Freshers’ Week that I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress; I dreamt of going to amazing, beautiful places I had only read of. And now I’m here—done with one term, only two more to go. I leave tomorrow for a ten day adventure across Europe before heading home for the last month of my break.
Have I grown, have I learnt anything huge, have I changed, have I begun to take Oxford for granted? I really don’t know the answer to any of those questions. I feel like it would be insane to put all my essays together, one after the other (all twelve of them) and have a physical representation of all the hard work I’ve done this term. When I think of that image, that pile of words, I also think of it being tripled seven months from now as I walk away from Oxford for good; it’s an hourglass of words.
I have absolutely loved my time at Oxford thus far. I enjoy the tutorial setting, with one-on-one discussion; reading and writing are what I love; the city of Oxford is beautiful; I’ve met amazing people. The list could go on and on. Hopefully you’ve picked up on that growing love throughout my posts this term. I’d always dreamt of going abroad but never of being this blessed. Sure, I have had some rough moments this term, but they were so incredibly worth it. Who gets the opportunities I’ve had? Far too few people.
I can’t fully comprehend the fact that I won’t have to write anything for the next six weeks. With the super concentrated intensity of study at Oxford, I’m definitely ready for a break. Admittedly, we have assigned readings to do over the break but still—bring on the relaxation. I feel like I’ll go home tonight and start grabbing for books that aren’t there, to read and highlight and take notes and think about an essay that I don’t have to write. Hopefully when I board a plane tomorrow it will hit me that break has officially commenced.
One thing I will miss, even though I am ridiculously excited to go home to Kansas, is celebrating Christmas in England. It’s been snowing in Oxford, upping the already dreamy atmosphere another few notches. We had a Christmas formal hall dinner last night in the chapel with: butternut squash soup, salmon, venison, potatoes, steamed vegetables, and a Christmas pudding (like a fruit cake soaked in brandy, sort of). Then we had mulled wine and mice pies in the JCR and mingled. After finishing my last two essays, it was the perfect celebration to the end of my first term.
Today I went to tea with my friends and we looked around the table with a smile: it was hard to not jump up and exclaim “we did it!” Instead we looked knowingly at one another and revelled in this heady feeling of being done. Yes, there’s a good deal of work ahead—but so much more to experience and enjoy. Now I know I can do it. I have a wonderful trip, return home, and another term to look forward to in the next two months.
I’m going to go enjoy the less glamorous parts of travel: doing laundry and packing. But I’ll be back in a week and a half to fill you in on the adventures that I anticipate having.
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