Oh, That Beautiful Hilltop

Wow, I miss Georgetown. I knew it would happen now, a few days before school starts. The facebook statuses have been updated for hundreds of friends, saying "Back to the Hilltop!!!!". I would have been moved in by now. I would have experienced that weird solo flight to DC that makes me question if I am leaving home or going home or both. After arriving at the airport, that beautiful drive across Key Bridge would offer me a view of my beloved Potomac. I would have arrived and had that first glimpse of Healy that makes me know without a doubt that I am a Hoya.

With class in a few days, I would have made that stupid climb uphill to the bookstore by now and made painfully expensive purchases there and on Amazon. I would have had a series of beautiful, joyful reunions with friends, getting nervous, checking the clock, looking at my phone, craning my neck around the corner, questioning “Is she here YET????”.

As stingy as I am, I still would have used the handy excuse that I had just arrived in DC and therefore absolutely needed to pick up a Georgetown Cupcake, a salad at SweetGreen, froyo at Saxby’s, a quesadilla at the Epicurean. Then I would have finally given in and have gingerly made that first trip to Leo’s, immediately recalling the hundreds of meals I had already eaten there with distaste. After resisting for 24 hours or so, I would have made the trek to CVS for Diet Dr. Pepper.

I would have decorated my room with pleasure, creating that little place that is all my own on campus. Lists of all the sight-seeing I still, after two years, have yet to do would be on my desk. Books I had to sneak into my suitcase would be around my room, pictures of home everywhere to make me miss it less.

How can I forget Dahlgren? I would have run my fingers through the fountain as I passed, sensing the thousands of Hoyas from years past in the atmosphere of Dahlgren Square, and slipped into mass feeling completely at peace. The Village A and LXR rooftops would have beckoned me up to confront me with how blessed I am with the beauty of my surroundings.

I’d be wishing school and work didn’t start so soon and thinking about how wonderful life would be if I could live the college life without grades or finals. I would be avoiding Lau like the plague. I’d be contemplating the semester ahead. I’d feel like my life was surreal and wonder where my summer had gone.

Instead, I’m here at home. I feel like a compulsive liar when I tell people I’m studying abroad and say school doesn’t start for me for another month. Really, I feel like a college drop-out and also like Georgetown kicked me out and said, “Don’t come back.” I’m excited for this year, of course, but that doesn’t matter right now. I have to mourn what I’m losing before I can enjoy what I'm gaining.