The End Has Arrived

It’s fitting that my last night in Oxford would be spent awake, coaxing all my belongings into a few bags, peeling away those homey touches from the walls, wastefully throwing away all those everyday items that have made this place home.

I look around the room and remember how barren it looked when I walked in on my first day; I look around the room and wonder how my successor will enter it, live in it, walk away from it.

My last week in Oxford has been a whirlwind of activity. I visited Hampton Court Palace, London, Windsor, and Port Meadow, as well as explored Oxford itself more. I’ve had drinks with friends, nights out, last meals at my favorite places, souvenir shopping sprees, cream teas. My feet are a bit unhappy with me; but overall, I think it was the best strategy to distract myself from leaving and to live up my last week to the fullest extent.

I've denied this moment, this day, for so long; and somehow I can’t face the fact that this is really goodbye, even when I leave for the airport in less than an hour. As a coping mechanism I’ve somehow convinced myself I’ll be back in a few weeks. I cringe to think of my pain when I realize it’s really, truly, fully done. Over. Complete.

As I prepare to leave, I wanted to use pictures to convey some of the things I love most about Oxford.

My beautiful bicycle and the Radcliffe Camera.

Magdalen Chapel, where I went to Evensong weekly.

Christ Church Meadow: the dreamy summertime haven I had imagined it to be.

Croquet at Mansfield.

The dreamy spires of Oxford.

One of my favorite places to get cream tea at and gaze in awe at the Radcliffe Camera.

The classic Oxford alleyway.

The list could go on and on. I'm nervous to leave, dreading it, denying it. This is it. The next time I write a post will be stateside. Where these photos will help ground me, remind me of a year that has been so spectacularly beyond my hopes, so dreamy, so wonderful, that I fear it will slip away from me into an unreal, hazy fantasy.

I leave Oxford more in love with it than ever, incredibly grateful to have been blessed with this year, already missing all the friends I have made here. When I'm home, and slightly less loopy from sleep deprivation, I will sit down and consider this year in all its splendor more thoroughly. For now, I bid England farewell. A grateful, besotted, poignant farewell.